Awww, Mikey's making me watch "Marmaduke" and its the lamest movie . . . Okay, okay, its really cute!

Mikey's Weenie

Last night Mikey referred to his weenie as . . . . . . . a "bone-uh."

Yes, he was saying "boner."

He pointed to his weenie and said, "I don't have a bone-uh, yes-tuh-day I  had a bone-uh, but tuh-day I don't have a bone-uh."

I was too shocked to respond. The whole potty-training thing has brought alot of attention to his "anatomy," thus producing a number of questions which get directed to Jared, who is better qualified to answer. Well.....I thought he was better qualified. I guess I kinda have a choice; either I take over the potty-training and eventually turn him into a little boy who is scared shittless of fecal matter and takes a piss sitting down, OR, let Jared keep up the "good work" (yeah, Mikey shit his pants again today) and experience those occasionally odd, yet hysterically entertaining, cluster-fuck moments of random, childhood outbursts.

Maybe Jared and Mikey have been spending too much time hanging out in their man cave, because they're starting to pick up each other's knack for descriptive word choice.

My kid shits the floor!!!

Mikey has hit a major obstacle in his potty-training saga. He won’t shit in the toilet! He'll just shit his pants and let the turds tumble on out, and onto the carpet. It gets better - his father (instead of punishing him) just follows him around with a bucket and brush, and a can of foaming carpet cleaner.

Now, I can appreciate the fact that Jared is an excellent parent, and awesome at taking care of everything from the housework and carpooling, to the potty-training and bill-paying, but he has got to do something about this shit-fest that goes on every day. Mikey needs some sort of punishment, some sort of consequence to face after doing something so....well, so shitty.

If he were a puppy, I'd rub his nose in it and put his ass outside........