Wilting

I’m afraid that maybe I’ve missed out on something, and it's lost and gone. Today, Jared and I were eating lunch and I had this sudden urge, this sudden pang, to have a baby. Not just any baby – but another Mikey. I felt like he was slipping away, growing up, and I was missing out on him. Years have gone by, and I’ve wondered were I’ve been….? Where have I been while Jared’s hair has been falling out? – I just suddenly noticed it. Where have I been while Vivian stopped sharing everything with me? – I realized I didn’t know the answer to one of her security questions on her phone. Where’ve I been while my “marriage” became a routine – a habitual cycle that repeats day after day after day…..where have I been while I turned ordinary? Old and ordinary, and no longer charismatic and vibrant. I’m wilting. . .